Your Questions: Asking her out at work?

The Question:

“You said that I should ask her to lunch or to hang out. Now we hung out back in high school a long time ago but I never got her number or anything. She works at a coffee shop and it’s always packed. How do you recommend I go about asking to go out to lunch or to hang out or something?”

-Brian

The Answer!

That’s a great question Brian! Normally girls who work in areas of service like waitresses or coffee shops wouldn’t even consider dating one of their customers. I have a lot of female friends who work in places like these and I get to hear all their stories of when they get hit on at work ha ha ha. Luckily you have a special advantage and can get around this. Make sure that when you talk to her you let her know that you went to high school together. That little bit of information will set you apart from all those “creeps” that hit on her at work. Now you’re just an old acquaintance who wants to catch up on lost time.

As far as when you actually ask her out there are a few basic secrets that can give you yet more advantages over the other guys that ask her out on a daily basis. The following may seem basic but the world’s greatest pickup artists like David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss and many others will tell you are crucial to have.

1. Confidence- Don’t be afraid of the situation. Stand up straight slow down your rate of speech and talk to her like you would your other friends.

2. Cocky/ funny- Keep the conversation light but interesting. Don’t be afraid to throw in a little humor. It will take the edge off of what could normally be an awkward conversation.

3. Be yourself- Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. I guarantee that she will see right through it, if not right away in the very near future. You do, however, want to be the best you that you can be.

4. Keep a positive attitude- Asking a girl out can be difficult. Tell yourself that everything will be just fine. Go over the conversation in your head a few times before you actually ask her out and imagine the conversation going smoothly and just the way you want it to go.

5. Don’t be afraid of rejection- Think about it. We date a lot of people in the course of our lifetime but only end up marrying one of them. That means we are all bound to get rejected several times in our lifetime. Don’t be afraid of it. It’s just a natural part of life. No matter what the outcome you should be very proud of yourself for giving it a shot. Remember you never fail in life unless you just stop trying. I would recommend that when you ask her out you don’t even let her know it’s a date thing. The word date can intimidated a lot of people and make them nervous. Instead all you’re doing is asking her to catch up on old times as friends. This will take a lot of pressure off of the situation but still allow you both to get to know each other more.  Try to ask her out at a time when they aren’t super busy because she won’t want to talk to anyone during that time.  Girls can become nervous about giving away their phone number. If she seems hesitant you can always offer to exchange emails instead.

Sorry it’s a long email lol. I just wanted to make sure you had all the useful information that I could give you. I think it covers some of the important things to remember when asking out a girl. There are several other things you can do to get that phone number but in your case I think it’s best to just stick to these basics since she already knows who you are. Good luck!

-Eric